silence ...shuzzz..verbal ?? whatever...

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

my goodness,,,

what happen to me today??

i'm so stress out until i refuse to talk to anyone...........

here it's goes again...me silence + paper .

write down everything i want and show it to others..like i did in school...

actually i don't even know why i refuse to talk or speak...hahha

i always in this state or situation if i get super stress or aRGGHH don't know hw to describe....

anyway....i'm smiling alone like wacko...and blah blah blah blogging and facebooking...sadly no one cares..but who cares..i'm not a attention seekers...

let them be..let me be...the way i want just for today...

DAMN MORAL---because of you i had to neglect my studies...my eveerything...i'm stuck ...SHITAKE,,,,

URGHHHHHHH ....

gonna do it somehow to...,it's important though .....

shitzellllllllllll.............

yeah go on...........

i'm sorry for not talking to my friends too...but after this i'll be alright...

i'm just stress out bcoz..it's nearly the due date of my moral assignment and exam soon and i haven't revise anything yet and i just sleep sleep sleep all the time....

It's just me that was wrong...

and i hate that i let myself drifted away like this........

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------that's all adios...

Wow ...what A surprise..3.8.2011

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Yeah Happy Birthday to me :)

I'm 18 already hahaha....

yeah finally i can yell and said i'm 18 huhu....

Gosh.

my birthday this year was a whole lot different than last year...

I thought this year will not celebrating my birthday.or i'm going to celebrate it alone...

..there's a story i'll tell u guys one by one,,,,

the day before my birthday..

my parents ignore me

they didn't want to answer my call and reply my messages....

so i just let them be...they purposely doing it...

then when dinner with my friends..hahah

they mention about jogging and how already we didn't go for a jog...

become fat la and so on..

so i suddenly suggest that let's go for a walk tonight...

and sulina say yes with sakinah...lol

hmm stars...

that night..2.8.2011 no stars at all...

and there's lightning all of the sudden but it doesn't rain..

there's this red thing in the skies...it suddenly become red like that..

and so i told sulina and sakinah maybe i will getting bad luck tomorrow..

and they say want to slap me la and say i'm very superstitious like that...

i was wondering why they cough and run out of breathe like that...

but then i thought maybe it's be so long we didn't jog and they didn't exercise and so they easily tired or what...

when we reach my our room...and the door open ...

TaDA...happy birthday to you,happy birthday to you,happy birthday to alexcia,happy birthday to you..

wow!!!

BIG SMILE ON MY FACE..

Tears nearly fall..and surprised ..

sulina & sakinah crying..i was like 'why they cry?' supposed to be i'm that cry..

then sul show me my mum message...

my mum ask me to make a surprise party for me..and ask sul to pinch my face..

gosh that time i cry and very moved...

THAT's THe SWEETEST thing a person had ever do for me...

i quickly call her and my dad...

gosh miss them so much..i'm crying crying outside the room...

really really moved...

then i received many birthday wishes from friends in facebook..

sul's wish was the best if i had to rate...very poetic...

hahah love it seriously...

then the whole day i couldn't stop smiling...

3.8.2011

indeed at meaningful day for me..

in the class they sang birthday song for me..

then my girls keep on teasing me birthday girl la..

i was hoping to receive a text from someone..but never mind...

who cares about that already...( ya rite )

anyway..i hope i get present --a lot when i go back tawau...

yihaa soon i'll be coming home...

27.8.2011..

i coming home dear tawau...

missing you...

my mom bought new tv...and hopefully she buy me new phone which she has bought but still it's her possession ..i hope she give it to me ...

i fantasize about it and even watching youtube search the picture and so on..damn i do get the feeling she won't give it to me...

haha nevermind la..

still 12.9.2011 final exam..counting my days on...

and bio report again damn...

until then adios

Sunday, July 31, 2011

See that mad bride???

I'm Like her now...

stress..wanna shout and going to be mad...

Suppose this month should be a happy month for me..as my birthday coming soon..

but reality is i hated this month..August..

I really HATED it...

There's a lot that i concern and worry about

1. My scholarship..my parents aren't by my side to help me...

My uncle and aunt can be my guarantor but some how i don't know if they are eligible to be my guarantor...

2. My study...this whole week..i didn't even touch my books...

really didn't even look at them..seriously I'M DOOM..

I have no idea what the hell i'm doing...so LAZY..

gosh...i'm FAILING ..

i don't want that to happen to me

3. Other matters which include small and big one...DAMN..

I hated this ..i DISLIKE this..I DESPISE this..SAY IT OUT LOUD...

I feel like cursing and swearing to someone face now...

I feel like wanna go to beach--( suddenly thinking about my friend Sully)

I wanna go racing--thing is i don't own a car..

there's so much thing s i wanna do to DE-stress myself but i just couldn't do any..

WTH happen to me???

I'm not me..ALEXCIA GABRIELLA

I'm the opposite me...AICXELA GABRIELLA...

is this AICXELA will do??

becoming lazy...cause ALEXCIA somehow really hardworking ..

maybe i shouldn't spell my name backwards...

gosh..there go the superstitious me-ALEXCIA..

hmm...sigh...hmm

shitakeeeeee

DAMn..

WTF...

u go girl...sorry for cursing so much..

i hate myself..but don't hate me k..

i feel like i'm going to be sick..like sick enough to get me into the hospital..

how i wish there is someone to comfort me...

but yet there's is no one to comfort me

my parents aren't here...

why am i whining so much...

i'm crying now..tears fall down my check...

and i need someone to console me...

my friends aren't here too...

i'm stress out..i hope i won't do anything stupid..no i'm not that stupid--yet.

what the hell happen to me??

i hope everything will go smoothly start tomorrow..please...

i hope there's a ray of hope for me..

i truly needed it and will appreciate it..

if God willing to give me another chance..

haPPY for awhile...

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Yeah I'm done with ICT...

I don't care what i get...but at least it's over for mid term exam..yihaaaa

but sadly....

my Maths....oh stupid mistake...

how could i calculate it wrongly???

hmm never mind we learn from our mistake so i've learnt mine...and i have seek for the lecturer advice...

now i'm ''motivated'' again...

hahah...gambate ayumi chan...you can do it...

oh yeah...i just found out that my friend cried and i didn't know and i keep on making sarcastic statement towards her...

i'm so mean...mean girl...

but then she's so annoying ...i couldn't stand her sometimes...anyway i'm trying to be ''good'' to her...

hopefully she's change soon..pity her though...

hmm i'm sleep..later have meeting at cafe about our lab report...i'm so lazy now..lazy lazy lazy..

don't feel like doing anything...how i wish it was Friday now..

adios all

Yeah i won..

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Happy...
That's the words that describe me today..
Apart from my worries, my sadness and everything, i find happiness in the middle of it...---CRAP BROKEN ENGLISH!!!

K,k,k--26/7/2011
Today we have biology presentation..Guess what..my group won as we present about kingdom of FUNGI...yeah so happy when we won....
At least we won for something that we really did and do it together as a team....
I always like to do presentation regardless what subject ....as long as i be able to talk to people in front!
HAHA....i guess people might think that i'm 'crazy' or 'hyper' because i'm not like 'that' in front of them...
My friends say i have this 'aura' like when i pass or walk in a crowd of people then people might look at me and think that i'm not easily to approach or snob like that...
Because the way i walk kinda proud ..--WHAT???
Anyway,they don't know me that deep yet...
If they hang around with me , i bet they be terrify with my personality...no not terrify but surprise..
I'm unpredictable ..hmm really?? yeah that's what i describe myself...friendly and crazy and bubbly when i'm in a good mood and can be really annoying to you in a good way...don't be afraid with me...i'm not a cannibal who eat human..i'm friendly perhaps over friendly sometime..haha..chill

back to the winning part...yeah we won..hahah
i'm happy with it..but yet there's no present for us..but who care and i don't mind ..as long as our team have won that's okey with me...
at least one of my team member willing to present..he's shy in front of people and couldn't speak properly --means communicate properly..people might not get what he say sometimes...but just now during presentation i'm so proud he could present it...although he startled but it's ok...should polish him again hahah

ohh...not to forget there's a special performance..someone dance ...we all like amazed when saw him dancing....
...
then today we had our last Chemistry Amali..yeah awesome...for this semester only ..
then go back dorm...sleep awhile...wake up gossiping with my girls..have a scrumptious dinner..awesome...
then revise ICT--sucks!!!
hope i won't fail....haven't get any A in my exam...gosh...i'm terrible...

oh yeah hate someone now really hate her...but kinda pity to her too ..

anyway now i'm going off..have to revise ICT...don't want to fail too...this is easy...yeah easy...:P

Finally i realize it ...but can i forget about it...

Monday, July 25, 2011

Is It Really--Love is Pain??

I never experience it before...because me myself don't even know and how to differentiate what it love..

It is falling in love with someone means you in your way to love him/her??

because if it does..then i should stop this feeling i had now...

我知道他不喜欢我，为什么我仍然喜欢他，

hate this feeling but i hate myself more to be in this miserable state...

Yo wake up la...

it's not worth at all...

at least i'm glad i'm blogging something and write everything i felt in my diary..i don't know why but i'm kinda relief...yeah...at last..

i like this...it's kinda sweet somehow...

awwhh...i want you everyday in my life...every girl surely melts when they hear these words come out from their loves one...:)

in the end those who in a relationship will only ask one thing from their couple..please say you love me

when will i get that moment huh??

maybe not now,not nest year or in couple years..but surely if you wait patiently ...i'm sure there's someone for you out there..just wait for your destiny--soul mate ...hmm your TRUE LOVE <3

adios all( thanks for reading this crappy blog which i don't think it's crappy but meaning full somehow)

PiTbUll---wondering--conclusion???

Saturday, July 23, 2011

I OFFICIALLY LOVING PITBULL SONGS...this time it's for real...i love his songs

I don't usually listen to his songs..but lately...i do..because i can't stop banging my head and start to dance..( not a good dancer) ...
really...i'm loving his songs..coz my friend Sulina..keep on playing Pitbull tracks..
can say i'm addicted..yeah...addicted...
it's one of the way to de-stress yourself from whatsoever stress you had in particular time...
we stress about exams...assignments...reports...then test..pop quiz...it's a never ending things for us to do...we don't have enough time...not enough energy , money,and most of all FOODS......
Seriously ( LOL )...the second i get stress or my confidence level going down or i suddenly BLURR of something during lecture..the whole day i'll be stressing out and get moody ..at the end i realized that i'm listening to ALESANA song

feels like wanna shout and scream out loud.....................ARGHHHHHHHH

Whining...that all i do..keep on complaining...
I can actually solve this problem...i should know..and i knew that i will be facing this situation...which is hard for me but actually it's not...it's all depends on how well and mature you are to handle the situation...
If only you ( referring to me) be more SERIOUS i'm sure that you can do well in your studies...
i wonder how the other students handle their life???

i should go serious once a while ..no--should go serious when needed!! that's right!!!

I cannot be playing around all the time...and stressing out

i should TURN A NEW LEAF...

don't be so low confidence...

i've been failing and failing to get the ''A'' that i wish for...

i should not stop getting that A's...

go get it girl...

it's not that hard...

Reedeem yourself from SPM...

should do better than SPM

finish ASASI with good pointers--4.0 flat..

yeah aim for that...

this song makes me cry ..it somehow leave a significant meaning to me...makes me inspire...wish to have ''THE MOMENT'' like he had someday...I pray and I hope for it and it always takes hard work to achieve something..W
therefore i come to a CONCLUSION =HARD WORK + PRAY= SUCCESS

that's it....before that listen to this song...listen to this if you don't you gonna regret it...