what a day...
i almost cry today...
we had this perjumpaan with our lecturers...well it's about our first semester result.
they wanna know what's our problems and why can't we get good pointers for first semester..
so there's a lot of advice's, open questions ( kena panggil nama juga --paksaan )
when dr sazmal ask is there anyone wanted to speak up or voice out their opinion or whatsoever
i just stay still sitting there..listen to people complaints...and hoping that my name wont be call out cause if he ask me what's wrong ..i'm gonna tell him everything and my tears will never stop falling...
i thought that just now we gonna get our one on one conversation and i was actually looking forward for it! But it turn out that we gonna have that conversation after we get our result...
gosh!! i have to wait again??
seriously i so tired of waiting cause all this waiting making me crazy and stress...
i couldn't focus on my studies and everything..
there's no one that i could express all my worries to!!!!
at least if i have my one on one conversation with any of the lecturers i'll be feeling ok a bit...
i wanna tell them that i keep on questioning if i choose the right path? should i drop out? should i give up? should i stop or should i change my habit? be confident? not afraid of asking question? don't be so self-conscious?
i don't know why but there's always something that pulling me back when i actually have the courage to do something..there's always this " thing" stupid "thing" that pulling me back....
maybe that " thing" is me=myself!
i'm the one that thinking much..to shy to ask Q's in front of people...think too much about others ..what's their impression if i did this,did that---when actually people don't care, in fact they'll be glad if you ask something that they scare to ask for....
gosh i should have think about that point! not everybody perfect...in fact nothing PERFECT in this world...btw..perfect is boring... imagine if the world is so perfect in everything ..wouldn't it be dull?? and you don't need to do anything in your life and there's no up's and down's that gonna give a taste of bitter,sour,sweet and hot in your life!!!
nobodies perfect ..bear it in mind....
now i realized that you must not care about others ..just care about yourself...
it's tiring too to take care of others business when you have your OWN problems...
anyway 1 more day left until i get my result....
take this a lesson everyone...
i believe that every dark cloud has a silver lining...
i've learnt my lesson, i never wanted to repeat the same mistake twice...
this is the path that i choose..no matter what i couldn't stop nor turning back..there's no turning back only a one way direction!
you don't wanna mess with your studies or life right?
cause in the end your the one who would enjoy it or who would regret it!
think wisely in choosing the life that you wanna life...
that's all for today ~.~
